Play Like A Man, Win Like A Woman

Who, better than Gail Evans, could represent The Pioneer Communication style, in my series about Women Speakers

• This is the second post, after Meg Whitman, The laser Light with a Big Smile, next will be about Ursula Burns, CEO of Xerox. I will also write a post about the 12 Communication styles, based on the SPM profiling model. I've been using this integrative tool to provide feedback to corporate executives at Cranfield School of Management for more than 6 years and would like you to discover its implications in presentation skills.

I believe in the power of examples and picked 12 women leaders to illustrate each style of communication and leadership.

• Key characteristics of The Pioneer Communication Style:

"Enthusiastic, expressive, bold, risk-taker, not discouraged by failures, daring, independent, ambitious. They do not hesitate to change their minds to adopt a new course of action. Full of confidence, brimming with energy, Pioneers bring to their organisation a capacity to initiate change and an ability to deal with the unexpected." (from the Spony Profiling Model Feedback Guide)

• Why is Gail Evans best to represent The Pioneer Communication Style?

Gail Evans has been in the playing field long enough to learn the rules of the game. She was a pioneer in The White House in the 60s and the 70s. She began working at CNN at its inception in 1980. By the time she retired in 2001, she was its Executive Vice President.

She's the author of the best seller Play like a Man, Win like a Woman, famous speaker, teacher, and author of She Wins, You Win. 

After her speeches, Evans wants the first question to be, “When are we going to have a woman president of the U.S.?” Her answer: “The day women decide they want one!”

Watch her interviewed by Larry King about the unwritten business rules women need to learn in order to even the playing field.

What is her message to women?

• You first need to know the difference between how a man plays the game and how you play it.

• Recognize that for the time being, it's still a man's game!

• Decide if you want to change the way you play.

Out of the 14 rules she lists for success, I highlighted 7 rules for communicating successfully:

• Make a request. Asking is the only way to get what you want.Don't take no for an answer. For women, no means "Absolutely not, how could you even ask!".Men won't personalize the no and they'll keep trying.

• Speak out. Men speak out a lot and make mistakes too. Talk and be yourself.Don't strive to be perfect.

• Speak up. Don't ask for permission to speak. Learn to use the power of your voice effectively.

• Toot your own horn. Get noticed and take credits for your accomplishments.
  

 

• Wear your game face. Look as if you're going to win. Girls are brought up to be nice, pleasing and anguish for others. Anguish in private.

• Confidence is half the game.If you cant' make it, fake it. Take risks.  "When we make a presentation, we make sure that nothing is missed: thoroughly over prepared and over educated.The problem is that you'll never be 100% ready""
  

• Sit at the table with the Big Guys. You can't play if you can't be seen. Make your presence visible and be fully present.One of the key to success is to show up!

"You are who you say you are. Pick your goal and convince yourself that you can be successful. Don't complain or accept the role of the victim." Gail Evans.

For me, I know I still struggle with number one, ask for what I want, directly. I tend to circle around my objectives, and certainly take no as an answer!

Now , your turn:

Out of these 7 rules, which one is crucial for you, now, if you want to succeed?

Comments

[Mike Henry]

Marion,

I think you're doing a great job using examples. However I had to look twice to find something I agreed with. I realize much of what she said is accurate, but I am seldom attracted to leaders like that. The bullets above seem to encourage people to focus on themselves rather than their organization or their team. I realize that's not the point, but that's the impression I got. I'm attracted to leaders, male or female, who put the team first.

The one crucial item I saw was #2 Don't strive to be perfect.

[marion]

Re: TypePad: [Geronimo Leadership Coaching ] Mike Henry submitted a comment on "Play Like A Man, Win Like A Woman"

Thanks Mike for this judicious comment.
You pointed out one of the pitfalls of this kind of leadership, focused on risk taking, freedom and autonomy of action. I can’t make assumptions about Gail Evans Leadership Styles, and she may be or have been very team oriented, however, her communication style represents the characteristics of “The Pioneer”, and served as a superb example for the model I want to illustrate.

You stressed that this kind of leader “encourages people to focus on themselves rather than their organization or their team”, there’s some truth in it since the pioneer’s vision is to be a successful entrepreneur, whose values are risk, adventure, fun and  independence.
Here’s a description , taken from the SPM model “ They adapt really quickly to change and swiftly tackle new challenges, can be daring. They have little attachment to the organisation, and their independent nature may sometimes be perceived as sheer individualism. They really need to pay attention when involved in team work.”

In launching this series on women speakers and leaders, my intention is to show the diversity of communication styles, according to different leadership styles. None is perfect, and I believe each one is appropriate to a specific context, according to people’s values and depending on a vision.
You might enjoy more the next posts when I will be speaking about The Facilitator, The Humanist and The Moderator.
I am very honored that you joined the discussion, Mike.

[mary langan]

I agree that number 2 is often the most important point for women. We are often afraid to do things unless we are 100% confident that we will succeed. I often see this in presentations, people think they have to be perfect and forget that it is ok to make a mistake.

[twitter.com/eaglesflite]

There were a few points that caught my attention of being important perspectives in both the interview and the points listed. One of the first points was a statement in the interview, "...its not personal its business." Second, was the seven bullets listed stemmed around two points to me: 1) assertive communication; 2) self confidence or self esteem. From each of these that caught my attention, the most important aspect was self confidence, and the rest are best served within a balance. I know from experience that, dependent upon the organizational or team climate, that speaking out can have both a positive or an adverse effect. From research and case studies it is known that some friction is conducive for innovation and creativity, but too much creates a break down. For me, the leaders who apply the right balance are those that are savvy or inept with social and emotional intelligence. However, a confident person (not egotistical) is usually more capable of handling these situations, but can still be personable without it impacting them personally.

Enjoyed the post...

Dale

[marion]

Re: TypePad: [Geronimo Leadership Coaching ] mary langan submitted a comment on "Play Like A Man, Win Like A Woman"

Thank you Mary for pointing this out! I must say I have to prevent myself from always researching more and gathering data before I write a post (like this one, which started like a very short one), or when I’m preparing for a training or a seminar. Most of the time, I have enough data and information. Less is better, makes presentation lighter, more direct and to the point. Saves time and energy for engaging with the audience, too.