Play Like A Man, Win Like A Woman

Who, better than Gail Evans, could represent The Pioneer Communication style, in my series about Women Speakers

• This is the second post, after Meg Whitman, The laser Light with a Big Smile, next will be about Ursula Burns, CEO of Xerox. I will also write a post about the 12 Communication styles, based on the SPM profiling model. I've been using this integrative tool to provide feedback to corporate executives at Cranfield School of Management for more than 6 years and would like you to discover its implications in presentation skills.

I believe in the power of examples and picked 12 women leaders to illustrate each style of communication and leadership.

• Key characteristics of The Pioneer Communication Style:

"Enthusiastic, expressive, bold, risk-taker, not discouraged by failures, daring, independent, ambitious. They do not hesitate to change their minds to adopt a new course of action. Full of confidence, brimming with energy, Pioneers bring to their organisation a capacity to initiate change and an ability to deal with the unexpected." (from the Spony Profiling Model Feedback Guide)

• Why is Gail Evans best to represent The Pioneer Communication Style?

Gail Evans has been in the playing field long enough to learn the rules of the game. She was a pioneer in The White House in the 60s and the 70s. She began working at CNN at its inception in 1980. By the time she retired in 2001, she was its Executive Vice President.

She's the author of the best seller Play like a Man, Win like a Woman, famous speaker, teacher, and author of She Wins, You Win. 

After her speeches, Evans wants the first question to be, “When are we going to have a woman president of the U.S.?” Her answer: “The day women decide they want one!”

Watch her interviewed by Larry King about the unwritten business rules women need to learn in order to even the playing field.

What is her message to women?

• You first need to know the difference between how a man plays the game and how you play it.

• Recognize that for the time being, it's still a man's game!

• Decide if you want to change the way you play.

Out of the 14 rules she lists for success, I highlighted 7 rules for communicating successfully:

• Make a request. Asking is the only way to get what you want.Don't take no for an answer. For women, no means "Absolutely not, how could you even ask!".Men won't personalize the no and they'll keep trying.

• Speak out. Men speak out a lot and make mistakes too. Talk and be yourself.Don't strive to be perfect.

• Speak up. Don't ask for permission to speak. Learn to use the power of your voice effectively.

• Toot your own horn. Get noticed and take credits for your accomplishments.
  

 

• Wear your game face. Look as if you're going to win. Girls are brought up to be nice, pleasing and anguish for others. Anguish in private.

• Confidence is half the game.If you cant' make it, fake it. Take risks.  "When we make a presentation, we make sure that nothing is missed: thoroughly over prepared and over educated.The problem is that you'll never be 100% ready""
  

• Sit at the table with the Big Guys. You can't play if you can't be seen. Make your presence visible and be fully present.One of the key to success is to show up!

"You are who you say you are. Pick your goal and convince yourself that you can be successful. Don't complain or accept the role of the victim." Gail Evans.

For me, I know I still struggle with number one, ask for what I want, directly. I tend to circle around my objectives, and certainly take no as an answer!

Now , your turn:

Out of these 7 rules, which one is crucial for you, now, if you want to succeed?

Comments

[Mary Wilson]

Marion, I like your idea of presenting different leadership styles and believe we can learn valuable lessons from each without necessarily espousing everything about that style. I agree with Mike--I am not particularly attracted to leaders like this. However, by way of the video, she appears to be a woman who had to play with the big guys when doing so was still unheard of; women who have had to create breakthroughs in a man's world sometimes appear to be aggressive and even arrogant. In a way, it's a form of protection: if my aggression keeps people at a distance, I'm less likely to be vulnerable--at least in public. The lessons of asking for what you want and speaking up are good ones, and I believe we can do this in a manner that does not alienate others but gains their cooperation.

[marion]

Re: TypePad: [Geronimo Leadership Coaching ] twitter.com/eaglesflite submitted a comment on "Play Like A Man, Win Like A Woman"

Thank you Dale for pointing out the interview, too! I also liked the distinction between personal and business.That’s what is meant also in the first point “make a request”. Men won't personalize the no and they'll keep trying...
Speaking of the interview, there’s also an idea I didn’t develop, but which is really key for women’s success, is the idea of different stages, sequences in life. We don’t have to do it all at once, before 35 or 40, we could adapt the rhythm to life’s events (both for men and women, by the way).
That’s what Anne Perchell  (@bizshrink) calls The Work-Life Flow http://germaneconsulting.com/work-life-out-of-balance-try-flow-instead/
(read her brilliant article on Germane Consulting Blog)

About assertivity and confidence, there’s such a deficit among women in business, that if they get a little more, it will only do them good!
No risk of becoming over confident yet!
That’s why it’s so vital to promote a wider range of communication and leadership styles and promote women who are “brimming with energy”, enthusiasm and adventurous spirit! Women pioneers!!!

[Michael Leiter]

Marion
Thanks for a thought provoking piece. There is a tension between the rules of the game in contemporary corporate culture and one's ideals for leading. Evans make some valid points about playing the game well because she has a good understanding of corporate culture. A conundrum is that corporate culture leaves a lot to be desired. It takes a steady focus to operate so well in that highly competitive culture while maintaining a focus on core values. Necessary for success in that arena, but fraught with peril.
That boundary between work and personal can be a challenge at times.
Michael
www.workengagement.com

[marion]

Re: TypePad: [Geronimo Leadership Coaching ] Michael Leiter submitted a comment on "Play Like A Man, Win Like A Woman"

Exactly, Michael!
Thank you for bringing this word “Tension” to the discussion.
One of the strengths of the Spony Profiling Model is to represent tensions or “dilemna” between sometimes conflicting values.
It measures differences in work values (motivations) according to different individuals, different corporate cultures, different national cultures. It can also support individuals in team working and in the context of organisational culture change.
Here, the tension is indeed represented between a focus on risk orientation, change, informal style, entrepreneurial spirit AND cautiousness, perseverance, loyalty towards the organisation, calm, respect of tradition and organisational rules.
The same leader could very well score high on both dimensions, however it might represent a big challenge for him and it’s interesting to get this information depending on the corporate culture and of the national culture.
The pioneer marked leadership orientation can prove to be a powerful asset when implementing change in a company.
Like for each of the twelve styles (and it works for any solid leadership model,from Blake & Mouton to  Hersey Blanchard), the question is, for each individual, to be able to act according his core values, respecting the organisation he belongs to and immersed into a highly competitive world where the main value are result, achieving short term objectives, raising performance, productivity, efficiency and increasing profitability.
An everyday challenge where, you’re right, Michael, “It takes a steady focus to operate so well in that highly competitive culture while maintaining a focus on core values.”
Thank you, I have written a part of my next post, presenting the SPM model, thanks to you!

[Baby Boomer Girl]

My weakness is wanting to please - while that is a good thing in some respects, it isn't helpful when other parties are playing power games, or their ideas are wanting.

I liked Mikes' comment about teams, and at the same time, can see the validity of all the points for women needing to be more confident and wisely assertive when it's needed - that will help the team too.